Being fat sucks. Not only is it the truth for many people, myself included, it’s the name of an online weight loss show. And I hope to a cast member. I’ve been meaning to lose weight all my life. That is except for the couple of times I did lose it. But it didn’t last for long either time. I crept right back up to chubbiness. It was always a rambling list of excuses of why I carried extra weight. But let’s start out with the up to date facts. At 5′ 10″ I’ve been starting the day at around 220 pounds. Lately. It goes up and down here and there. Current age, 51.
I’m a freelance songwriter and music producer. Some of my successes include writing Lindsey Lohan’s “Don’t Move On” which she performed onscreen in Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen. On the soundtrack album it was edited into a medley along with David Bowie’s “Changes” and Stevie Wonder’s “Living For The City”. The writing credit reads Blasick/Bowie/Wonder. That’s pretty cool in my book. I produced a version of “Miracles Happen” on the gold certified Princess Diaries 2 soundtrack. As of this writing, I’m celebrating my highest profile movie song to date, “Ladies Of Tampa” from Magic Mike. Produced by yours truly and co-written with myself, star Matthew McConoughey and Frankie Pine, I was thrilled to be a part of a hit movie. Felt great. I’m still fat.
Home life is sharing my life with my beautiful and talented wife, Natasha, and Vivien, our Yorkshire Terrier, in a condo that’s walking distance from the Pacific. Sounds pretty good even as I type it. Natasha is smart. She’s funny. She’s s an actress. We are both freelancers. We have lots of time together between jobs. Sounds good? Freelancing means not having regular work or a regular schedule. It’s super awesome. Right? No set routine also means that well intentioned plans, like going to the gym, can get overturned on a moment’s notice. I love my wife and doggie. I love what I do. It’s a great adventure. It includes uncertainty. About finances. Many a freelancer out there can relate to the hills and valleys of the self employed life. Certainly that must be true. I’m still fat. Still there’s a lot to be thankful for.
Between high flying movie jobs for me and starring roles for Natasha I’ve been known to troll through Craiglist for opportunities. Tons of useless ads. Once in a blue moon something good comes from it. It’s like the needle in the haystack. One of Natasha’s starring roles is the result of a CL ad. And then I saw an ad looking for people wanting to lose weight. It’s a pretty short story. The hardest part was finding a good chubby picture of myself. Posing to look big doesn’t happen very often. I selected one though and sent in a response. A very nice man, Jeremy, invited me in to a company called Mahalo for a brief screen test that consisted of doing five pushups and describing myself for two or three minutes. I figured that was that. Still fat. At least I did five pushups. Usually there’s no time for any.
An email arrived inviting me to do a shoot. Sounded pretty awesomely cool. Another screen test? Sort of. It was to be a non-airing test pilot. They were clear in saying the only pay was in training and some possible incentive gifts. Not money. Well, Hell. It’s for the web. Not a major TV network. Deep breath. That’ll be OK. I put my suggested outfits together and trundled over to the Mahalo offices.
I couldn’t wait to see the other fatty fats. How many of us would there be? I thought twenty or so. The talent consisted of just two other people, Michael, a comdian/actor and Kate, a former model who had put on some pounds in the past few years. I wasn’t sure if Michael was recently tubby or was always like that. We chatted amongst ourselves and with the very nice staff and crew. At 5’11” Kate certainly had the height to have modeled. And a very pretty face. I pegged Michael as a future Rodney Dangerfield. He’s that type. And quick to tell a joke. I had the pleasure of working with the real Rodney on one of his last movies, The Fourth Tenor. I learned a lot about comedians. Quick wits mixed with serious moods. Interesting choices for our show to be sure.
Jason “Heat” Rosell and Martin Blasick, red faced after the test workout
I’m the song guy. Not too wild. At all. The wildness lives inside. It could be a big part of why the outsides didn’t get taken care of. Internally there’s always a lyric or groove spinning round.
In walked Jason Rosell. Heat from the reality show I Love New York. Not tall. Seriously buffed. I immediately took him to be a loudmouth jerk. After all, no one had told us what the tone of the show would be. Big mistake on my part. Jason put us at ease right away. Turns out he was a fatty fat when he was younger. Very cool supportive, encouraging attitude.
We moved our troops to a park in Culver City. No permit, so the word was to walk away if anyone questioned what we were up to. Three camera persons. Two on sound. Couple of producers. Jason kicked our glutes. Hard. Deep lunges. Lots of reps on the pretty grass in the hot sun. Us fatties ran to our water bottles between every exercise, so having services from sites as https://www.lebleuforyou.com/ that deliver water to our home is perfect for us. I thought ‘don’t have a heart attack’. Mike rolled around on the ground and made a show. He will get some extra camera time.
It’s not clear if we’re really making a show. We’ll hear something in a couple of weeks. And don’t really try to lose any weight yet as it’s not for airing and there would be, presumably, a weigh in for an official start. Maybe? I felt a tad dizzy and lightheaded on the drive home. I pulled over and did some deep breathing. Still fat. But hopeful.
This journey is going to see me giving my all. It isn’t a paying job per se. It pays in personal training and experience. It does take more time to do the shooting than it might look like. If you enjoyed this blog post please consider leaving a tip or making a purchase.
“My Days On Being Fat Sucks: “The Mind Is Right And The Body Is Tight,” copyright © 2012 by Martin Blasick.
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